final fantasy xiv

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april 29, 2024

i couldn't sleep the other night. i was up in bed for hours thinkin about this game, obviously in large part thanks to being back on my brainpills, but it's nevertheless impressive that a game i've played near every day for months now still holds my attention like this. i started reading some of Encyclopedia Eorzea to try to wind down, specifically the timeline of the Sixth Astral Era which goes on for so long and the text is so small that all that straining my eyes was enough to put me to sleep

i love lore. i love worldbuilding and escaping to a big cohesive pretendworld to cope (unhealthily) with my current world being bad. realizing how much i enjoy it lately has made me really want to start building my own pretendworld like this. i would go into my thought processes pertaining to this since they're mostly spurred on by playing FFXIV, but it would easily take up a whole page. and i got a lot of stuff to look through already, because i very excitedly and medicatedly spent all day yesterday playing the main story and manically writing notes. since coming back to this game i've taken over 3,700 screenshots

the cowards at Radz-at-Han have finally allowed me access to their aetheryte, due to my part in helping stave off the nightmare calamity that was, and still currently is, befalling them. the sky is still blood-red and raining meteors all over, except the city itself by some miracle. i hover my cursor over the weather widget and it tells me the current weather is 'Apocalypse'. but here i am carrying boxes around

usually before i move onto the next zone in the story i'll stay behind and complete all the quests needed to unlock flying in that zone, which itself takes some restraint because those quests usually start their own questline and i hate to leave a story unfinished. but the wiki page i look at to see what level i'll get access to X zone or Y feature spoiled for me that one of the next "quest givers" is Ryne, so obviously i had to move on right away to see what was up. omg i get to go back to the First ^_^ (<-- has been going there every day for hunts/tribal quests) they also had to have Narrator Emet-Selch come out and say i was about to be in for a wild ride

across all of time and space i'mma be bothering this dude with small talk. got a little worried when we started diving into time travel shenanigans again. Elidibus sends me back in time saying i "cannot change the outcome" and i thought he meant i was literally unable to, like phew that's a relief, that stupidproofs the story a little. but he actually meant i must not. and what do i proceed to do. obviously i talk to every NPC i can find

level 70 leatherworker by the way

Meteion's headwings mega goofy. Elpis is the place they create and test new lifeforms but they messed up with this one. they messed her up in another pretty big way too but the headwings are definitely worse

earlier on god gave me a flower that changes color depending on the overall vibe. every now and then i've been taking it out during pivotal story moments, to clue me in on whether things are good or bad, because my character dumb as hell and can't tell otherwise. then later on a freaky elephant scientist mentions there's a theory regarding an entirely separate Not Aether energy that the flower mood lamp runs on. that kinda came out of nowhere, i thought, hope the plot of this expansion doesn't revolve around that

it's ok man i really don't think they'd came up with the idea back then. felt like i was playing WoW and they'd introduced another ancient godcharacter that was secretly behind everything the whole time

speaking of my character being dumb as hell!! i really just lay everything bare in front of these guys, and i have to sit and watch my guy silently flap his lips while i'm yelling "what are you doing!!!" at my screen. even right after i arrive in the past, as soon as Emet-Selch glanced at me for the first time i thought uh oh i've changed too much. then he interacts with me. then we're walking and talking, and now tons of sidequests are appearing on the map???? i'm never going to see Tataru again bro

i was totally absorbed during the entire Elpis section. i knew that if i had trouble sleeping the night before i was definitely going to have trouble that night, so i better try finish this game soon (i didn't finish it) (i had trouble sleeping again). again i'm still in the euphoric stage of going back on meds so that had a lot to do with it, but it was also out of wanting to see how in the world this game is going to write me out of having completely changed the future. as of writing this i've seen its attempt at this but it really does not seem like enough

fought god and she hit a 9999999 on me, to test if i was worthy of riding on her magic space dog

i find it funny that whenever a character transforms into a boss they have to absolutely look like one. my dude was just a regular dude then he turned into this suddenly with no explanation. also i've seen Emet-Selch go much crazier than this, but he tanked this dungeon for me and he just used a swordenshield?? this did not need to be a 30+ minute dungeon

it's me n Hydaelyn bro...all this time it was us.. i thought it wasn't another time loop but upon looking back i'm thinkin it's another got damn final fantasy time loop. the reason i didn't end up changing the future is because i already changed the future, and that's because i had already changed the future, due to me having already changed it. this whole section had me rapidly going back and forth between "this is so stupid" and "this is the greatest game in the world". i left Elpis and just screamed. it was midnight but it had to come out



may 2, 2024

been takin it easy.... this journal's gone on so long compared to all my others that i feel it's the best candidate for sprinkling in some regular lifetalk as well. this game is like, generally a thing that i engage in, so it's the one with which my experience is most consistently intertwined with "how i'm doin", if any of that makes sense. and "how i'm doin" has been all over the place, but nevertheless one thing remains: i be playing final fantasy

i won't go too in detail because it's gross medical problems, which sucks because it's been the bane of my existence for many years. but a particular condition for which i've undergone surgical procedures, which was worsened by taking ADHD medication, started to flare up again since going back on the meds. it severely hinders my ability to concentrate on anything (going against the whole point of the meds) and ruins my enjoyment of whatever i'm doing

i'm kind of at the biggest point in the entire dang game right now, and i didn't want to end up having my experience with it soured. i already played the next dungeon and instead of being engrossed by all the major stuff that was happening, i was just feeling irritable, but then again the dungeon and story surrounding it was kinda silly. i'll talk about that stuff tomorrow and that'll be my dedicated End of Walker Time. right now i just been chillin with less thinking-about-things-other-than-how-physically-uncomfortable-i-am-intensive activities

goin reapmode....i leveled Gunbreaker and Summoner/Scholar to 90 but Endwalker added an extra role story for melee DPS, so now i gotta level one of those as well. heard Reaper is baby easy and it starts at 70 so it's perfect. it's pretty easy! and i don't gotta learn no damn greek. positionals will never be okay in my world, but i'm sure that'll get removed soon enough knowing how much this game simplifies its combat over time

encycloepaedieaae collection complete!!! i ordered the third volume two days ago thinking i'd be done with Endwalker by the time it arrived so i could dive straight into it without worrying about spoilers, but alas. for now i simply admire it on my shelf from afar. not even gonna open it up yet to claim the Fourchenault minion, as hard to resist as it is. sarcasm

just had "Confront Hydaelyn" sitting in the quest list on the side of my screen, intimidating me, while i been busy out on da lake. might have to go deal with her if she doesn't deign to bequeath unto me the catch i desire



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