ok here's what happened. i started training the Lesser Half so they might last more than three seconds after my main guys are all dead, then i looked into the best way to buff them up quick. found out there are in fact AFK methods, then found out my jobs are – if you can even believe something like this would happen to me – totally wrong according to all the guides i found. maybe there were ways i could adapt but i'm not smart enough for that. so ultimately i was too lazy to go the lazy route

poached a couple double xp necklaces, unlocked a megahard dungeon, ran into a group of bats and golly those were some big numbers....over 6,000 xp per kill, when the enemies i was usually killing all gave around 1,000. and this place was bat city!! i just chilled and watched TV while running around these caves for a few hours until the main half were all level 99, and only barely noticed a maybe kinda slight increase in the speed at which they killed them

they were around level 75 when i started, while the neglected were around 45, and they did not survive the entrance to bat city. so i sought out another training spot to get them to around that point as well before confining them to the mines for a few hours. after a few hours of that they were still getting beaten over the head with bats, which is when i really started to wonder how much level actually matters in this game. i couldn't find a formula for it but i definitely don't think it matters nearly as much as having good gear

i want to almost-apologize to the FF wiki, one for still being under Fandom and two for almost writing a diatribe regarding these guys' supposed 7% chance of dropping an item i needed being a flat-out lie, since i must have killed almost 200 of them. turned out it was actually 1% and there were much easier ways to get them. i took a detour to farm out rare materials for more of those Final Fantasy superweapons which came with a cool variety of headaches, but nothing in the face of which a battle-hardened RuneScape veteran couldn't glaze their eyes over

i might have made more money from this grinding method than i would ever need across probably every FF game combined. the weapon upgrades made a big difference, plus i learned about New Game- mode which keeps everyone at minimum level, and apparently that's totally doable so my time definitely would've been better spent seeking out gear instead. i just don't want to risk dying hours into the actually-seriously-hours-long final super hunt, that's right i'm doing it i'm going all the way with this game, 80+ hours now baby i might like final fantasy twelve. i gotta stop playing rpgs man

i am strong!! power!!! first thing i did was mow down a hunt that had given me so much trouble before. i gotta play more rpgs man i love bruteforcing things. decided to try finishing off the summon list which took me to the furthest depths of the Idiot Stupid I Hate You Great Crystal. i was scrolling down a walkthrough giving detailed step-by-step instructions on how to reach the room with Ultima and it just kept going. it just kept going. the relief i felt once i learned going through that rigmarole once unlocks a warp from one end to the other, and there was a save point outside the boss room. my crystal now

my ultima now. beat her first try (sort of i had to reset a few times to get a rare steal from her) but it was an ordeal. only Zodiark was left, and i needed another super ultra rare ribbon. one way to obtain it was from a superer ultraer rarer level 99 red chocobo, actually named 'Lv.99 Red Chocobo' to distuinguish them from the red chocobos i dispatch with a single blow. this was not by any means the easiest nor worth my timest way to obtain one but i still wanted to try

one of the tactics for defeating them involved using a shield that has a 3% chance of spawning upon entering a certain zone. managed to get it but this was part 1 of the kind of wondering what i'm doing with my life that's usually reserved for MMOs. by far the best way of getting the chocobo to spawn involved using a spell that turns other chocobos in the area to stone, which – and i don't even know how to say this because i'm still in disbelief something like this could happen – none of my party had the right job for. so i needed more rare loot to make ammo that also had a chance of turning enemies to stone. this was part 2

a chance. here's the thing i've been too scared to mention lest you realize how deep into part 3 i am: to get the red chocobo to spawn, i have to kill six chocobos in this area, travel two zones away and back, and then there'll be a 1 in 2...256 chance for them to appear. i don't think even RuneScape battle-hardened me enough for this. turning the bos to stone negates the need to zone out and go through four loading screens, but Balthier even with the babiest gun i had was simply too strong for this method to work reliably. i'm not even confident i'd be able to beat them if they did spawn

i'd been avoiding even looking into this since i felt it broke my Gamer's Code but i thought it was time to maybe consider the possibility of having Seitengrat at my disposal. this is a supremely powerful bow that has a 1 in 10,000 chance of spawning in an invisible chest upon boarding an airship, and the only feasible way to obtain it is through RNG manipulation. i don't know if this method can extend to getting a big bird to spawn, i don't even know what i'm looking at when i watch guides on getting the bow. all i know is i generally get to a point with RNG in a game where i feel like c'monn i've been good i deserve it

accidentally ran into two more big guys, Phoenix and Ixion, but i took them out easily on account of i'm now so power. there was a new optional section at the top of one of the lategame dungeons that i couldn't wrap my head around before, which involved a lot of stumbling around mazerooms in the dark and running away from angry pots demanding elixirs from me

if i attack them they reveal themselves to also be so power, buddy it's not my fault you situated yourself around seven other enemies when you can clearly see my gambits are on as hell, and also i can't clearly see you. each monster in this place drops an orb which i had to collect to light up the place, but they disappear after a few seconds and the hitbox for them is tiny and the button to pick them up is the same as the command menu button and i can't pick them up when the menu is open and. it caused far more frustration than it should. accidentally got a ribbon while i was here which was the whole reason for the hunt for red chocobo no big deal

i still feel like i deserve it, and i've been even gooder since yesterday believe me. i was trying for a 5% armor drop from a monster here that spawns once after seven minutes of twiddling my thumbs, then i thought screw this i'm instead going to try for a 1% armor drop from a monster that spawns once after killing 60 others. but well. i'm still good i just. i'm not going to say i was abusing a glitch to kill multiple of them, but i am going to describe what that glitch might have entailed and the experience i would've hypothetically had with it

[artist's rendition of what such a scenario might look like]

the way loot works in this game is the more of a specific enemy i kill in a row the better chance i have at getting its rare loot. so since spawning this ghost horse required killing dozens of others first, the only way i'd have more than a pitiful 1% chance at the Grand Armor i wanted was to be bad. lure them to a gateway to another zone, kill them and immediately switch zones before the little xp pop-up appears, so the loot falls to the ground but the game is still like nah that horse is fine, did you drop something bro this appeared on the ground it must be yours

of course if i were to attempt such a thing, i would still screw it up because it's difficult to position the horse in a way that i'm able to pick up the loot in time. and after such a failure i would probably decide against exploiting glitches anymore, and that i likely don't need the best gear in the game anyway. i need to go back to doing sane person things in this game