me? going through a bad depressive spell? how could you tell aside from the fact i've been playing RuneScape again. here's hoping this page doesn't go on long enough to get published. i haven't been doing much aside from idle training anyway and the thought of doing much more than that immediately bores me to tears so that could be very well be the case. and if so i can write anything i want here knowing no one will ever see it. poop poop farts butt's hole

this is a very goal-oriented game, but assume that any goals i mention having are actually the goals of an alternate-universe version of me who has even less going on in their life, if that's possible. i recently found out how close i am to having the levels required to complete every quest, so knocking that out then training combat for a while is currently the goal i hope i don't achieve. training mining right now, with the help of very AFK-able shooting stars and a new RuneLite plugin that increases the idle logout timer to 25 minutes. and thank god because i did a more active training method for ten minutes and that solidified my decision to completely check out once i'm at quest cape levels

already i have had another hardcore death dream. for some reason they decided to have a live event where the world got flooded out of nowhere and everyone had very little time to get safety. so i teleported to Lumbridge and gunned it towards the castle staircase, but thought i wouldn't make it in time so instead went down a basement hatch on the way there, which obviously got even worse-flooded, and i died. i could probably fill a journal with recountings of these dreams

thinking i wanna die on purpose, with exactly 69,420,000 xp or whatever funny fun number to make it obvious it was intentional. i wanna fight big bads without feeling like i gotta overlevel beforehand!! apparently they occasionally open beta servers for new updates, where they let players set their own stats and gear. that would be nice for practicing bosses beforehand, because every post i see online of someone asking for advice for a hard boss on their hardcore, all the responses are "just practice it on ur main bro". i'm sorry to say i am stupid enough to have made my hardcore my main

the meta has changed since i last played

in an effort to not have this turn into essentially a Depression Journal i took my ADHD meds today, which if you've read my FFXIV journal (you haven't don't lie) you'll know is a decision i don't make lightly nor responsibly. i will say today i'm markedly more enthusiastic about watching my fakeself whack demons for a Slayer task. ideally i wouldn't have to watch myself but i can never be too careful with this stupid red helmet icon. the ring of life and low prayer/health notifications do not bring me enough peace of mind

what does it say about me that when i get a clue scroll i sigh a little, knowing i now have to be more engaged with the game than i was seconds prior. doesn't help that for hard/elite clues there's like a 1/4 chance i'll get a step that asks me to go to level one thousand wilderness. i've decided i'm gonna do those wildy clues anyway for the time being, if only because if i die at least i'll have something to write about on my stupid little website. that and i'll finally be free. but of course i'm going to wait until 3am to do them

oh yeah i was mildly excited about the Armadyl platebody. unfortunately it just looks like a regular ol' rune platebody when wearing an amulet, i wanna rep my patron god in style but still not die. Armadyl's my guy he's a big gay bird -- in RS3 at least, OSRS has thus far shown too much cowardice to put a gay birdman in their game. no i don't know the lore implications of the gods returning to the world nor do i care

i struggle with bank space generally. i installed a plugin that highlights which items in my bank can instead be stored somewhere else and it has helped massively. i hoard all the useless one-time quest knickknacks and books, and i'm learning how much of them i can dump in my house. if you've read my ESO journal (you haven't don't lie) you'll know i'm a sucker for collecting books i'll get around to reading at some point. i just have a few things to do before i can have time to dive into 'Book', 'Diary', 'Diary', 'Burnt diary', and 'Book'

this game gets too many updates man. this is one i don't particularly appreciate, i don't need to know i missed out on a clue thank you. just before this i got the random event where i gotta kiss a prince/princess-turned-frog, but last month they changed it so i only gotta pat them on the head?? game gets a lot of complaints about being made "too easy" and i'm inclined to agree in this case. they should not be catering to cowards who won't even tongue a frog

speaking of updates. they just added a fat new landmass Varlamore, which i haven't actually checked out yet and only did the quest to unlock it because a clue scroll brought me there. as it stands my only impression of it is big colorful birds in the landing zone so it's an A+ from me so far. i'll come back when i feel like actually playing a video game, i got some clicking on the same monster 150 times to do

also i gotta turn off the plugin that puts a timestamp on the 'report' button in screenshots. please pay no mind to how long i put off writing my journals, i am a normal amount of depressed with a normal amount of drive to carry out daily tasks. i wanna mention something else that i learned about today and NOT a few days ago, if i learned about it back then i would've written about it then, prove that's not the case there's no date in the screenshot so you can't. anyway it's this new graphics renderer they announced

Old School RuneScape game look like a dookie game, this is no secret. i love good low-poly art but OSRS, at least the pre-oldschool content, does not have this. it is an online world of programmer art. but when i saw this the other day just now a second ago, it was the first time i thought the game actually looked like it had a pleasing, cohesive visual style, and not a mishmash of textureless blobs crafted decades apart and held together by duct tape and also the duct tape glitches out when you move the camera

i don't keep up with what goes on in the RS community because for the most part they're weirdly obsessed with terrible youtube guys and homophobia. but i do remember in Old School's early years any proposed update that even grazed against people's "nostalgia" would be met with huge backlash, even if it was optional like this graphical update, so seeing the massively positive reaction here gives me a lot of hope for the future of the game. Old School RuneScape has existed for twice the amount of time there was between its launch and the version of the game it's based on. unrelated but i will be taking a break from journaling as all my bones have crumbled to dust suddenly

i still think they go a little crazy with the polls, yesterday i voted on one asking if they should make a sound effect slightly quieter. the whole premise of "the PLAYERS decide the future of the game!" kind of falls apart when you consider the fact a large portion of players are dumb as bricks. i also just don't have much respect for the idea of bending totally to the wills of strangers over pursuing your own vision with art. yes clicking on trees for 100 hours is art and i will not be responding to emails regarding this